Friday, April 13, 2007

Trish Feld 1943 -2007


A personal note: My mother, Trish Feld, died yesterday. A few people who read this blog know that she's been seriously ill. The rest of you may have been wondering why I've spent the last couple of years going back and forth between Vermont, where I'm from, and my home in Lancashire. She is why.

In August 2005 she was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable brain tumor. Mom weathered a grueling succession of radiation and chemotherapy treatments but gradually declined, and died quietly here at home yesterday evening, with her family around her. She never lost her sense of humor, and faced her ordeal with tremendous courage and grace.

Here's a little piece a local newspaper columnist wrote about her life. A children's librarian, she cared passionately about reading and learning, and she touched the lives of so many people, both personally and professionally, that we aren't sure the church is going to be able to hold everyone.

Nobody knows why people develop brain tumors. If, through the wonders of Google, anyone happens on this post in who is in the same situation, I will pass on the tremendously valuable Brain Hospice site, and this book that straightforwardly describes what happens after diagnosis from a first-person perspective.

If I have learned anything from this experience, it is just the same things people always learn, over and over, when someone dear to them dies. But they still bear repeating: your family are always more important than anything else. Tell them how much you love them, early and often. And appreciate them while you have them; you never know what life is going to throw at you.

5 Comments:

Anonymous scully said...

My deepest condolences. I lost my mother to cancer when I was 15, and 26 years later I still miss her. But because she is always on my mind, she is always with me.

I wish you strength and peace.

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kate,

I just went to the Vermizzle in hopes that you had written something about your mom. That was wonderful to read. It's been a tough weekend for all who loved her so much; reality is setting in and the Kleenex supply is hardly adequate. What a mom you had!! And you took care of her with all your might; a gift for her and a gift for yourself. Love you, Pam

2:14 PM  
Blogger Stuart Ian Burns said...

So sorry to hear that. Your words are so true. Take care of yourself.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous cresmer said...

I hadn't read your blog in awhile, and saw this just now. I'm so, so sorry about your mom.ht

4:08 PM  
Blogger ToddMax said...

I just realized I met your mom a couple years back... I was working as a school social worker at Thatcher Brook and we wanted to introduce some of my students/clients to the middle school to help with their transition for the upcoming year. She was probably the one person that really made an impact on them the most. Her warm, bubbly personality made them feel welcome in this new strange place, when they didn’t typically get that kind of response from teachers and school personnel.
Your mom will not be easily forgotten... my deepest sympathies.

10:35 AM  

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